


Happiness

by Alphinss



Series: Self Inflicted Suffering; Writing Challange [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Depression, POV Percy Weasley, Percy Weasley-centric, Protective Percy Weasley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 17:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17491907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alphinss/pseuds/Alphinss
Summary: Percy can finally smile





	Happiness

That was all Percy wanted. That was all he had ever wanted. A word thrown around, a feeling that he had never been able to grasp. He just wanted to be happy. To have a reason to smile, a way to force himself from bed in the morning, without feeling a cold stab of pain running through his body. He wanted the glimmer of joy he saw in his brothers’ eyes. He wanted uncontrollable laughter to force its way from his throat.

He had tried. He really had. Maybe by achieving what his brothers before him had; Prefect, Headboy, Os across the board. Fully immersing himself in the role. An actor on a stage, where all the other performers thought that it was real. But all that had gained him was mockery and distrust.

Maybe a girlfriend then? That seemed to work for his peers around him. He had dated Penelope Clearwater for sixth months. Diving deep, acting as the lovesick fool. But no matter the letters, the stolen kisses, the inexperienced fumbling, it was never enough. Percy still felt the deep ache inside him. Like a knife in his gut, cold and deadly.

His next experiment was one of work. Many people seemed so engaged in their jobs it left time for little else. His father seemed to light up as he talked of his own. He had watched as Professors had smiled in fond regard for the subjects that they loved. Maybe Percy could find that. He took a job at the Ministry, but it had led to nothing. Manipulated, disregarded, mocked, overworked. All it had made Percy feel was a bubbling frustrating.   

Percy had only ever wanted to be happy, but the concept had been unattainable. So, he followed expectations. A path down which people thought he should go. Maybe that would make him feel something other than that pain of longing for the unreachable.

The battle of Hogwarts, anger bubbling before a minister who was worthless. A sneer and a heated word. Throwing off the expectations of one, clinging onto those of another. Dumbledore, his family, Harry Potter. Maybe those expectations would make him feel something that forced a smile to his face. He could only hope. 

The battle raged on around him, sparks flying and deadly spells rocketing at unprepared children. For that’s all they were; children against an army. They had never really had any hope of surviving this unscathed.  

Percy was in the fray, dodging and diving, pushing his way through the rubble and dangerous dark wizards that were spread across the castle. He shot, with perfect aim, just as a spell rocketed toward his brother. But the wizard was still there. The danger still there.

Percy did the only thing that he could think. For once a part of his brain was demanding that he take action. He listened. He ran, faster than he thought his weak legs would be able to. Faster than he thought possible. He ran in front of the jet of purple light that had rocketed from a jet black wand.

It was slow, it was quite, nearly peaceful. The purple, rocketing toward him, no chance of savior. His brother was safe. Lying behind him on the cold stone floor. That was all that mattered. The knife that had always sat so firmly in his chest seemed suddenly and rapidly pulled, healing instantly. The pain of its residence vanishing without a trace.  

There was only one thing that Percy could do. His face wouldn’t let him do anything else. A smile, real, blinding, joyful. It pulled up his lips. A feeling of jubilation. A sense of completion radiating through every atom of his being. Happy tears barely had time to trickle from his eyes.

 

This must be what it felt like to be happy.

 


End file.
